In his sensational book The Six Pillars Of Self-Esteem Nathaniel Branden discusses:
- The practice of living consciously
- The practice of self-acceptance
- The practice of living self-responsibility
- The practice of self-assertiveness
- The practice of living purposefully
- The practice of personal integrity
The fourth pillar I am going to discuss is self-assertiveness. This article simply includes some of the key quotes and questions from his book. You can read about the other pillars here.
Self-assertiveness means honouring my wants, needs and values and seeking appropriate forms of their expression in reality.
It simply means the willingness to stand up for myself, to be who I am openly, to treat myself with respect in all human encounters. It means the refusal to fake my person to be liked.
To practice self-assertiveness is to live authentically, to speak and act from my innermost convictions and feelings – as a way of life, as a rule.
Self-assertiveness asks that we not only oppose what we deplore but that we live and express our values. In this respect, it is intimately tied to the issue of integrity.
To aspire is not yet self-assertion, or just barely; but to brig our aspirations into reality is. To hold value is not yet self-esteem, or just barely; to pursue them and stand by them in the worl is
Self-assertion entails the willingness to confront rather than evade this challenges of life and to strive for mastery
When we learn how to be in an intimate relationship without abandoning our sense of self, when we learn how to be kind with being self-sacrificing, when we learn hoe to cooperate without hers without betraying our standards and convictions, we are practicing self-assertiveness.
Sentence Completing Exercises
Self-assertiveness to me means….
If I lived 5 percent more self-assertively today….
If I had the courage to treat my wants as important…..
If I brought more awareness to my deepest needs and wants….
If I were willing to say yes when I want to say yes and no when I wantbto say no….
If I am willing to let myself hear the music inside me….
When I hide who I really am…..
If I want to live more completely….