How important is happiness to you? And why? Do you ever make happiness a conscious intention at the start of the day?
The more you acknowledge the importance of happiness in your life, the more deeply you will want to dive into your happiness enquiry.
Happiness attracts greater success in your life, your work and your relationships
Being authentic is key to happiness. The truer you are to yourself, the more you improve your chances of happiness
If people are encouraged to talk about happiness it helps them think about happiness and thereby, ultimately, helps them to be happier
I want you to get conscious about how much happiness you tell yourself is possible
Most people do not really need therapy, they need clarity
Robert talks about the paradigms of happiness. A paradigm is a pattern of thinking based on concepts, values and beliefs. Your paradigm either opens you up or closes you off from a greater experience of happiness right now.
Paradigm #1 The Achievement Paradigm
Paradigm #2 The Possession Paradigm
Paradigm #3 The Reward Paradigm – This is about the pursuit of happiness – your purpose, a lover. The focus is on the future and the language is about ‘becoming happy’
Paradigm #4 The Destination Paradigm
Paradigm #5 The Choice Paradigm – people relate to happiness as a state of mind.
Paradigm #6 The Identity Paradigm – People who experience happiness as a way of being, as ‘a simple harmony’.
The Meaning Of Happiness
What does happiness mean to you?
Spend some time to actually answer this.
Your definition of happiness influences every other significant decision in your life
A wonderful to spend an hour of your life is to compose a list of your most life-enhancing pleasures.
Then make sure you let yourself enjoy these pleasures!!
Robert goes on to take about Joy and describes it as unreasonable happiness. He discusses how when his students meditate on joy, there are common qualities that come up:
Unless you cultivate an awareness of joy, no amount of pleasure or satisfaction can make you happy
The one who asks is the one who knows
Being willing to listen to and trust your own wisdom is one of the most important keys to lasting happiness.
Nothing really blocks your wisdom other than the self-made beliefs and perceptions that you identify with.
What has your life taught you about happiness so far? Reflect on what is happening in your life, in your relationships, and in your work right now. Notice any major themes. Be aware of any conflict. What is your life asking you to learn about happiness now?
I am convinced that the real purpose of happiness is to help you retrace your steps back to your original nature.
Happiness is a spiritual path. The more you learn about true happiness, the more you discover the truth of who you are, what its important, and what your life is really for.
True happiness is self-realisation
The primary cause of all suffering is forgetting the true nature of your Unconditional Self. Think about it: If you are not clear on who you really are, how can you know what it bet for you? And how can you know what it is you really want as opposed to what you think you want, or what other people tell you that you should want.
Lack of self-knowledge plays out is numerous ways including:
- The Search: The search for happiness is a hoax
- Feeling Inadequate: When you forget to identify with the joy of your unconditioned self, you literally start to feel inadequate.
- Living In Exile: When you lose your conscious connection with the joy of your true nature, you feel like you lose your connection with everything else.
Complete the following sentence 10 times:
“I am very happy when……”
You are not hear to find happiness, you are here to extend it. You are inspiration-packed, wisdom-infused, made with love and blessed with joy. And so is everyone else.
Your unconditional self is constantly happy, but yourself-image is constantly giving you too much of a hard time for you to notice.
Self-acceptance is the key to self-improvement
Your self-image is your self-portrait – it is how you choose to see yourself. Your self-image is a product of your learning – it is a Learned Self, one that you have made. Your self-image may have no likeness to or bearing on how the rest of the world sees you.
Making Yourself Unhappy
- Opposition – Without self-acceptance you will experience the world as being in opposition to you.
- Comparison – The less you accept yourself, the more you will be tempted to compare yourself unfavourably with the billion other people on the planet.
- Rejection – You will live in constant fear of rejection for as long as you are unwilling to accept yourself.
Limiting Your Own Happiness
Compile a list of five ways you are currently limiting your own happiness
Everyone wants happiness, and everyone would like to be happier, and everyone is aware that they limit their own happiness.
The limiting happiness exercise brings up some common themes:
Emotions are something you experience, they are not who you are
Unhappiness is not a sin – it is a chance to be truthful and to heal.
Robert also discusses how unhappiness is a lesson. He states that:
- Fear – wants you to know you are doing way too independent and not trusting enough in life, God, or others to have you.
- Anger – is trying to tell you that you keep giving your power away inappropriately in certain situations
- Stress – is an invitation to change something. You are being asked to make better, smarter choices.
- Resentment – wants you to see that you are in sacrifice, playing the role of martyr, and leaving yourself out of your life.
- Guilt – is a sign that you are our of integrity with yourself and that it’s time to be as God created you
- Exhaustion – is a message that there is a better way. It wants you to listen to your wisdom.
- Envy – is a siren that says “For God’s sake, when are you going to see how beautiful you are?”
- Depression – is a call for love. It wants to know that you need to love yourself and accept love from others
- Wounds – are invitations to practice forgiveness so that you can set yourself free again
- Grief – wants you to give yourself the gift of your own attention and to make sure you don’t lose sight of what is really true.
- Pain – is a reminder to be true to yourself, to remember who you are, and to stick to your true purpose.
- Anxiety – is a call for hep. It is asking you to be open to more help from everyone and everywhere.
The gift of facing your unhappiness is the chance to be happier
I could go on and on high lighting pearls of wisdom from my favourite author. I can’t recommend enough his books and his courses.